Cypriot As FuckCYPRIOT AS FUCK™
JOIN CAF
CYPRUS, WITHOUT THE BROCHURE.CRAP • EVENTS • GUIDE • SHOPEST. 2026
FEATURED / LATEST
Xylofagou Rejects Louvre Request to Host Giant Potato
CRAP / PUBLISHED01

Xylofagou Rejects Louvre Request to Host Giant Potato

Not a homepage.
A national situation.

The latest from CYPRIOT AS FUCK — satire, things happening on the island and whatever comes next.

01

CRAP

CYPRUS REPORTING & ANALYSIS PRESS

ALL CRAP ↗
02

EVENTS

GO OUTSIDE. APPARENTLY.

COMING SOON

CAF EVENTS

What’s actually happening on the island. Soon.

COMING SOON

CAF
GUIDE

A Cyprus guide with standards.

Eat. Drink. Go out. Stay. Discover. Skip the tourist-brochure bullshit.

TELL ME WHEN IT DROPS ↗
04

SHOP

OBJECTS OF QUESTIONABLE NATIONAL IMPORTANCE.

COMING SOON

CAF SHOP

Small drops. No giant catalogue of rubbish.

JOIN CAF

DON’T LET THE
ALGORITHM DECIDE
IF YOU SEE US.

CRAP, drops, events and occasional national emergencies. Direct to your inbox.

No spam. We have standards. Some.
FOLLOW THE SITUATIONINSTAGRAM ↗TIKTOK ↗THREADS ↗YOUTUBE ↗